im not even a 2nd choice im like an 8th choice sometimes a 10th
(via gaymorris)
if i were a murderer i’d be the febreze murderer and lead my victims blindfolded to undisclosed locations and i’d ask them what they smelled and they’d be like “omg ocean air and tulips” and then i’d rip off the blindfold and it would be A PILE OF THE BODIES OF MY PREVIOUS VICTIMS
my mom made me go to a therapist because of this
(via beyonces)
“guess what”
“what”
“no you have to guess”
(Source: schlgrl, via animalcrackersinmyblog)
I’m fun to flirt with but not to date because I’m a psychopath
(Source: girlveins, via thatsmoderatelyraven)
If corals get stressed they die, so if I was coral I would be dead
what do coral even get stressed about
Current events
Get out.
(Source: y0u-belongwithme, via pleasestyles)
the only good story i have is i was once at the same wedding as daniel radcliffe and my dad said ‘you’re a wizard harry’ because my dad looks a lot like hagrid and daniel radcliffe told him to piss off
(via gaymorris)
if you ever leave my door open and i have to get up and close it myself just know that’s me closing the door on our relationship forever
(Source: daeneryus, via niamy)
quick have sex with me i’ll explain later
(via kiddwaynejohnson)